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For those of you who are new to my blog, I have two children. My oldest is a four almost 5-year-old little girl. She is full of personality, style, dreams…… and opinions. I take that to my advantage by asking her what she thinks of my parenting and our relationship. I do this at least once a week. I’ve found it very beneficial in mending our relationship.
I know most people believe you don’t have to ask your kids what they think of you, or they believe their children cannot give them an accurate answer because they don’t understand enough. However, I firmly disagree. I believe my child’s view of me is essential. I also think it’s important to note that you shape your child’s ability to think and answer in-depth questions. Our job as parents isn’t only about creating compliant children, but it’s about teaching them how to think deeper.
Guest blogger Johnnie May
1) Learning what our child thinks about us can help us see ourselves from their point of view. Do you remember when you were a kid, and your Mom or Dad did something that you felt like eroded your self-esteem or sense of security? To them, their actions seemed sensible, but to you, it hurt.
We may think our parenting style or way of handling our children is perfect. However, we shouldn’t be afraid to see ourselves as our children do. Many times my daughter has told me something about that myself that hurt! I needed that. I needed to see myself as she saw me. It was God using her to challenge my bad behavior. Don’t be afraid of their view of you. Be afraid of being too prideful to hear the truth.
2) It can teach them to value the opinions of people they trust. Children must learn that it is vital to appreciate the thoughts and perceptions of our trusted loved ones.
The world tells us we don’t have to care what anyone thinks about us. Sure, we shouldn’t care what most people think about us. However, we should have a few people whose opinions we trust.
Asking our children questions teaches them we value their thoughts and perceptions. In turn, this motivates them to appreciate and listen to their lives one’s views and opinions.
3) It can help you meet each other’s needs. It’s hard to have a great relationship with your child when they want or need something that you’re not giving. Or perhaps you’re doing something that your child doesn’t understand.
For instance, the last time I had this conversation with my daughter, she informed me she doesn’t like it when I get upset and yell. This hurt because it caused me to confront my issues. I had to accept that I scream, and I need to learn to control my emotions.
Thank you for reading.
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Johnny May is a mother and a wife to 2 beautiful children- she’s aiming to spread the word of God through Gods love and grace. She inspiring many into the knowledge of God.
www.agapelettersblog.com
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