February 17, 2020

How to make a Christian long distance relationship work

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Deciding to partner up with someone who doesn’t live near you is hard.

I’m talking harder than trying to memorize the square root of pie, lol! 

Hard to memorize, right!

I’m sure tons of thoughts are flooding your mind on wondering, could this work, is God calling me to date someone who doesn’t live 5 miles away from me? 

Am I biting off more than I can chew?

 Can a Christian long-distance relationship work?

Skeptically I said “no” until I found myself entering into a long-distance relationship. 

And I asked myself these hard questions can a Christian long-distance relationship work? 

All signs pointed to yes- once I realized that I saw everything that I prayed for within a man and I didn’t want to turn him away just because of space between us. 

We’re living in a time where the number of social media love connections is high, so how does one navigate?

Here is your survival guide on how to make a Christian long-distance relationship work.

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How to make your Christian long distance relationship work

1. Center your life on God

Notice I didn’t say, center your relationship on Christ. I said, focus your life on Christ. If your life, your devotion, and your faith are centered around him, then all things are made possible!

Even the success of your relationship between you two could be made possible!

Am I telling you that this long-distance relationship will be secure? Of course not!

But, what I am telling you is that through Him, the impossible becomes possible. Through God, he will give you tips, resources, and extended help to make this relationship work!

And who doesn’t love the fact that the eternal father has assigned endless help to assist you on this new journey?


Related post: How to grow in your relationship with the Lord?


2. Breathe & communicate along the way!

Breathe and enjoy the union of meeting someone else who may have a different perspective on life. Life is beautiful, but, it is not a one size fits all point of view.

So breathe along the way!

Making a long-distance relationship work isn’t about holding your breath, waiting for your partner to call you, which I did that initially.

But, it is more so about breathing and taking whatever comes your way throughout your relationship with optimism and mastery! There will be many bumps along this journey that doesn’t mean that the relationship is doomed!

Breathe and ask God to give you two tips that could help you two come together properly without frustration and exhaustion.

Remember, God has answered your prayers now its time to breathe and trust that God will continue to protect and give wisdom to what he has placed together!

Continue to enjoy God’s faithfulness that he has heard your prayers and responded with your request in a human stature!

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how to make a Christian long distance relationship work

3. Heal as an individual before you agree to date

Choosing to date long-distance will challenge your security!

If you’re battling with jealousy, self-esteem, your long-distance relationship may be harder than others.

Heal, before agreeing to be in a long-distance relationship, will help with making your relationship work! Long-distance is such an unfamiliar territory if you’ve never entered one, so choose to heal before you enter into a long-distance relationship.

Seek out healing if you’re having a hard time trusting and believing your partner!


Related post: 7 toxic habits to walk away from!


 4. Figure out your love language

Love languages will help you decode your partner. With the distance, you aren’t fully exposed to certain things that a traditional couple will inherit, so learning your love language will help you navigate the relationship successfully!

Dr. Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today, also sees the value of using these terms to show love. “Understanding your ways of expressing love, and your partner’s, and understanding how your expressions of love are different or similar means you know when you love your partner the way you want to and when you love your partner in his or her favorite way.

“You can understand better why some things work between you and others don’t.

You can learn to recognize when your partner is sending you love, even if it’s not the way you’re used to.”

According to Chapman, taking the time to learn and understand your partner’s primary love language, which is often different from your own, can improve communication and strengthen your bond.

Which is ideal when you’re trying to make your long-distance relationship work!

Here are the five categories of love languages:

 Words of Affirmation

This love language expresses love with words that build up your partner. Verbal compliments don’t have to be complicated; the shortest and simplest praises can be the most effective.

“You look amazing today.”

Words mean a lot if your partner has this love language. Compliments and an “I love you” can go a long way.

 

Acts of Service

Your partner might have this love language if their motto is “Actions speak louder than words.”

This love language expresses itself by doing things that you know your spouse would like. Cooking a meal, doing the laundry, and picking up a prescription are all acts of service. They require some thought, time, and effort.

All of these things should be done with positivity and with your partner’s ultimate happiness in mind to be considered an expression of love. Actions out of obligation or with a negative tone are something else entirely.

Receiving Gifts

This love language isn’t necessarily materialistic. It just means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift makes your partner feel loved and appreciated. Something as simple as picking up a pint of their favorite ice cream after a long work week can make a huge impact.

Receiving gifts is different than Acts of Service, where you show affection by performing actions to help your partner.

 

Quality Time

This love language is all about undivided attention. No televisions, no smartphones, or any other distractions. If this is your partner’s primary language, they don’t just want to be included during this period, they want to be the center of your attention. They want their partners to look at them and them only.

Quality time doesn’t mean that you don’t curl up on the couch to watch Netflix or HBO; it just means that you need to make sure to dedicate time together without all of the distractions. That will help them feel comforted in the relationship.

Every time you cancel a date, postpone time together or aren’t present during your time together, it can be exceedingly hurtful to your partner as it can make them feel like you care more about other things or activities than them.

 Physical Touch

To people with this love language, nothing is more impactful than the physical touch of their partner. They aren’t necessarily into over-the-top PDA, but they do feel more connected and safe in a relationship by holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc.

If Physical Touch is your partner’s primary love language, they will feel unloved without physical contact. All of the words and gifts in the world won’t change that. They want to feel you close by, not just emotionally, but physically.

To read more, check out this blog post on the five love languages & if you want to know your love language take the test here!

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How to make your Christian long distance relationship work

 

How to make a Christian long-distance relationship work

5. Believe that your relationship can work by speaking it!!

Words formed us, so the words that proceed out of your mouth hold will either produce life or death. How are speaking life over your relationship?

Are you believing and speaking determination? Your long-distance relationship will become what you think it should become.

If you’re believing and having faith that your Christian long-distance relationship will work, then speak it and allow for life to proceed from it!

Transform your verbiage towards your relationship! Even though it may hard because society has said that long-distance relationships have a poor track record, you hold the keys to a successful relationship through your words!

Manifest it with affirmations and trust that God will help you throughout this journey.

 

I cannot wait to see and read the success stories of your long-distance relationship!

 

Comment some tips that have helped you!

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