How to control your sexual desires until marriage

how to control your sexual desires until marriage


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The decision to stay sexually pure before marriage may be easier said than done.

Especially if you’re like me, someone who has already been sexually active before marriage.

You may be in a place where you’re wrestling silently, trying to honor God with your body and with your thoughts, but it’s challenging.

For many years I wrestled with wondering, is it even possible to remain sexually pure? All we see every day is “SEX.” It is plastered everywhere!

So over time, it becomes hard to train your thoughts to remain pure and to think pure thoughts.

Am I right?

Well, allow me to ease your frustration.

There is an outlet to help you remain sexually pure before marriage, and here is how.

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how to control your sexual desires until marriage

Monitor the things you’re consuming and digesting.

For you to remain sexually pure before marriage, monitor the things you’re consuming.

Like unhealthy food, ungodly tv shows, unnecessary hours on social media, expletive music can harm you and corrupt your heart.

1. Ask yourself, what am I consuming all day?

2. What do my conversations with my friends & family look like?

3. Am I filling myself up the explorer page where nudity and all other sorts of things are allowed?

The more we fill ourselves up with these things, the more it tugs at our heart, and it tampers with our purity. Which in the beginning, the dwindling of our innocence is subtle, but over time the signs will become obvious?

Here’s how to counterattack:

1. Set a timer for social media- do not exceed that time. Do not get on social media after

2. Ask God, what does purity look like?

3. Recite Bible scriptures my favorite is Romans 12:1

4. Ask God to show you areas within your daily talk where sex talk is added into your conversation.


Pray over your hormones.

Pray that God would help tame that desire that you have until your marriage. Pray over your hormones that they will fall into submission to the will of God.

I know your body is telling you one thing and that urge to act upon what you feel is strong and enticing but, once those thoughts fill your mind bring them into submission and recite that “my flesh is weak, but my spirit is strong; and I wait upon the Lord until He aligns me with my husband.”

The challenging part about taming that desire is that it wants to have its way. As I struggled in the early days with my sexual purity, I didn’t have control over my hormones until I asked for God to show me how to tame my hormones, so they do not overpower me and make me go backward. Through trial-and-error, God showed me how to wrestle in the spiritual realm to cast down every thought.

Here’s how to counterattack (virgins included):

1. Do not sit and meditate on your thoughts!

2. Seek an accountability partner to help pray with you.

3. Hide behind God’s word!

4. Have regular fellowship with God.

Related post: Prayer for the waiting singles

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how to control your sexual desires until marriage

Be as extreme as you need to be!

Throughout the years of my abstinence, many people would tell me, “not that serious about being that extreme,” but to me, my purity is serious! Not just for marriage, but me. I want to have the satisfaction of well done for adhering to my body and my thoughts.

So be as extreme as you need to be!

If certain things weaken you, it is okay to place parameters around it until you’re comfortable. Do not allow anyone to make you feel guilty of your decisions, to set boundaries on your purity.

Be as extreme as you need to be!

What may not be a problem for someone else may be a stumbling block for you, so it’s okay to place extreme boundaries.

Remember, you know yourself better than anyone, so look within yourself and ask God to reveal open doors within your life that could be protected a little more!


Talk to someone whom you trust!

Many of us are wrestling because we’re embarrassed to discuss that we have desires; I remember just desiring to have someone who I could confine to that would help me keep my vow I made. I believe choosing to isolate yourself and ignoring things will intensify that struggle.

Talk to someone who could be your accountability partner that could help with you remaining strong when that desire is too much to handle by yourself.

If you do not have that- I will be that for you! I do not where you’re in your dating life but, when love comes into the picture, it’s hard to fight what your instinct is telling you what to do, right?


Things to talk about with your accountability partner:

1. Dreams- What do your dreams look like? What are you doing in your dreams?

2. Daily thoughts- What do you think about all day?

3. Struggles- What are you struggling with currently? What are some areas in your life that aren’t as disciplined?

4. Identity- How do you view yourself?

5. What does “purity” mean?


Talk with someone who you can trust that will give you advice. Maybe your parents, friends, youth mentor.


Close open wounds & doors.

If you’re carrying any opened wounds, pray and ask the Lord to close those wounds because those wounds will interfere with the continual purity before your marriage.

Sometimes unresolved issues will remain dormant for a while until something tragic happens, and those wounds will open back up, leading you to stagger in your purity, and you will revert at’s comfortable. So if you’re battling with lust, deal with the wound.

The wound may come in the form of:

1. Molestation

2.Introduction to pornography

3. Masturbation

Deal with the hurt and the source of why you’re struggling with your purity, and it will make your walk a lot easier!

Related blog: how to share your testimony


Hey sister,

I want you to know that I am here rooting for you. I know it is not a comfortable journey if you’re just now starting your celibacy walk. Trust me, and it gets easier as time progress.

And if you stumble throughout this journey, do not be hard on yourself. Ask God to show you how to walk in purity, and God will show you how.

( repent and turn away after God show you how to walk)

Focus on God, love on God!

If you have any advice that could help someone else, please comment! Or need an accountability partner message me

Love you.


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aundra williams

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